1. commit suicide and hope that you won’t meet calculus in the hell university.
2. kill your friends whose got an A.
3. kill your lecturer or at least torture him to change your E.
4. go to the nearest (or biggest) cafe you can find, drink all the coffee you can purchase, get caffeine-drunk, try to forget calculus, and kill the owner of the cafe for making the coffee too not affordable.
5. go swimming in the northern beach. (make sure you got a green shirt (or bikini) put on to tease the Queen). fyi (for your infomation) you won’t need calculus in the Queen’s kingdom because it’s underwater and calculus books aren’t resistant to salty ocean water.
6. log on to your friendster, myspace, facebook, etc, and open every single one of your friends’ profile in one browser window at one time. (preferably mozilla firefox). left a comment saying ‘i’ve got an A for calculus!’. and the world will think that you’ve (really!) got an A.
7. go to ur favourite dentist, put on bracess, show it off. your friends will have so many question (hopefully) concerning your new bracess and they won’t ask you (hopefully) your calculus mark.
8. study (meh).
9. pray (ugh).
10. party (yeah).
11. tell your parents by e-mail or sms. they WON’T get angry with u.
12. (for anak kos only) don’t go home yet untill you think that your parents already got another problem for them to take care of.
13. say, ‘i’m fucked up!’

what? you ask me which one of those above that i’ve done? only point 8. i don’t have time for doing another point. oh, i also have some precedent in case you DO (for any reason) want to get an E for your calculus (BASED ON TRUE STORY)

1. go to the hill of stars of your town the night before you get your mark.
2. take a picture of your friend with a DSLR with pure white cloud for background before you saw your mark.
3. don’t eat (nor drink) at all at the day of calculus mark announcement.
4. let your friends (must be more than 5 people) to stay in your house the night before the DAY of ANNOUNCEMENT.
5. be a regular watcher of supermama seleb shows and concerts. don’t you dare miss it for any reason!
6. get fucked up.

i’m writing this in english because i love english. why do i love english? no, not because it’s george bush’s language. but because i got an A for english. GOD OF ENGLISH SAVE ME FROM THIS NEVERENDING ABYSS!!